Somerset is a better friend than Mary Jane

So my dad just walked in the front door no more than 10 minutes ago. He
came home from New York for Memorial weekend. Well, that is what I'm
guessing. We (as in the fam) didn't know he was coming, we were actually supposed to go to New York to visit him.

He brought home presents. I should be appreciative of what he got me but he got me shit. He obviously does not know me.

My dad brought me a Grateful Dead shirt. I don't even listen to them and
he said "I don't think Jennifer will like this" and he proceeded to
give me the ugly shirt. If he has an idea that I might not like the
band/shirt, then why the hell did he buy me it? All I asked for was a
notorious "I <3 New York" tee.

He also got me a tye-dye bandanna.


Everything smelt of incense. Why the hell would my dad go to a hippie shop? He's
conservative to the wazoo. This calls for an ultimate "WTF?!".

When he gave me the repugnant shirt and hippie smelling bandanna I said "What? You want me smokin' pot? I'm a hippie now?".


My dad, no lie, said these words: "Go ahead, you're 18 now," in front of my mother no less.


What the fuck man? Now that I'm 18 I can smoke pot? I have permission to smoke pot?

What's the point of doing it when I have permission. There won't be any joy if
I take part in the action. He obviously does not know me. I'm against
smoking any sort of tobacco, well of anything that can be smoked. I
throw away his packs of cigarettes any chance I get. He blows up
whenever I do that. What makes him think I'll have interest hittin' up the ol' Mary Jane?

What the fuck dad, get out of the house and go back to New York. I'm not
going with you either, so stop trying to persuade me to look up art
schools in the area.

And two story malls are not going to
coax me to move either. There's a three story mall in Troy, I'm content
with going to that mall.

Jimmy you douche...

My car sort of died today.


I blame it all on karma... perhaps?
No no, just bad luck and shame for me not listening to my [pudge] gut.
That's what I get for driving illegally.



Well, now that my Jimmy is getting a new fuel pump, hopefully mi madre will be okay with me taking the stupid road test.

I highly doubt it. She doesn't want me driving. She wants me home... always.

Her baby bird cannot leave the nest. Oh no no no.
Her baby bird cannot leave the nest because she loves her so so so.
Baby gets no independence 'cause she has so much to learn.
Baby gets no experience 'cause she don't need to. Oh no no no.


I have to thank Derek though.
He was my alibi. He was the one that was driving, since you know, he is the licensed driver.

Goodness, I'm 18 years old and my mother will not let me take my road test. How shameful.


I've learned my lesson though. If I try to stick it to the man, my car will die on me and I will have noone to help me besides some car mechanics that attempt to save my car and sanity (and overcharge me). Oh, and that lying to my mom will help me not be in serious trouble.

Lying rocks!


....sorta.


At least I got to open the sun roof and listen my sweet summer mix while I drove. Fab. That's all I gots to say.


One of the featuring songs on my mix - enjoy the vid.

The Unicorns "I Was Born (A Unicorn)"