Yuppie Hell

So today was my first day of my first job. It was short and simple, but overly annoying.

I'm working at the Buick Open, taking photos of the spectators for some
lady. It's like one of those "take picture now, order later" kind of
things. Except it's free, unless you want a good quality 5x7 photo,
then you pay.

I was supposed to start yesterday, but instead I did today. My boss (wo)man is making a living with this business and I'm somewhat surprised. Okay, I take that back. It doesn't seem like that a lot of people would buy a print when they could just print
it off themselves for free, however, little Ms. Cutthroat makes sure that a lot of photos are taken, so she can make money.

She truly is insane about getting photos of people. So there were the four of us by a main gate, Buicks lining the pathway, a trophy and girls, approachable, and friendly.Two with cameras, the other two recruiting people to come pose. Each
and everyone of us would ask people to pose for a free picture. Yes, we
received quite a few "No thank you"s and we understood. My boss
would keep badgering the refusal people to pose for pictures.

I couldn't help but pity the irritated golf fans. How would you feel if
you've been asked a question five times when the first four times you
declined four young girls and then get nagged by some older woman to strike a
pose? I really wanted to talk to my boss (who will continue to be
nameless) and tell her to chill out. If we can't convince some people
to pose for us, what makes her think that she could? People want to go
in and watch golf!

When we first started she actually told me
to back off a bit. Which I found ironic because she's the one jumping
on everybody and forcefully moving people to pose in front of the
stupid Buick Open trophy when I'm being polite!

She also wanted us to say to people "Hey, let's take a picture..." instead of "Hey, do you want to take a picture...." I felt really sleazy rakin' in the folks saying that. Now I want to be a professional photographer, but this is not how I want to work.

I also failed to mention how she was late when we were all to meet up at
the hotel she was
staying at, and she was very unorganized. Before we left she had
breakfast, and her weapon of choice was a powdered donut. Do you know
what she did? She scarfed it down and was totally oblivious to the powder all over her face. Apparently she did the same thing yesterday. We all guessed that the powder is permenantly stuck to her face, or she's snortin' crack. We don't know!

I don't know if I can hold out until Sunday (my last day). I'm pretty annoyed but I'm being paid really well and I'm working with people that have a sense of humor. But let's think about it - golf tournament in White Suburbia. Tons of stuck up people in their snooty authentic golf gear and refusing to pose for me! The nerve! Quite honestly, this could be why I hate where I live.

Damn tourists. Damn yuppies. Damn Norbit for being made and seducing my mother to rent it and make me watch it with her.

Four Eyed Monsters

I've been stuck in a rut artistically, stuck to the point where I'm afraid to pick up a pen and just doodle. Just recently I got the chance to finally see the film Four Eyed Monsters and it really has inspired me. I don't think they were ever showing the film in Michigan, but I was really glad to have found it on a blog and through YouTube. It never crossed my mind to look it up on YouTube. I really enjoy this film and I think that those who appreciate art in it's many forms and/or appreciate independent film is going to love this film. The concept is so great and it makes me want to pass notes to friends like back in middle school. The couple that made this film are in serious debt and they need a lot of help to pay it off. They give easy instructions on how to help them. No lie, it's really easy and it's free. Trust me. Watch this film and be amazed by it's creativity and originality. You will want to help them get out of deep debt so then they can make more films.

Jimmy you douche... pt. 2

My car is a killer. It's a zombie. Killer zombie.


First it dies.
It comes back from the dead.
It has rotting metal flesh, missing organs, and a thirst...
A thirst for gas and oil.


My car just had to smash some car to get some fluids and what not.


Damn my car for being big and hindering my sight from smaller vehicles behind me.

I
reversed into another car basically. It only happened because when I
was going to exit from a parking lot, a car was coming in fast and there
is only one exit (a very narrow one might I add). Since I was trying
to get out of the way of the incoming car, I had to reverse. Of course
there just had to be a car behind me that decided to sneak up on me
just right when I was reversing. There was no car there when I looked
in the rear view mirror. I don't see it as my fault. Yes, I backed into
the car but the car came right when I was going and she knew that I
couldn't see her.

The gal had a new car too. I'm glad she was being calm and nice about it. My heart was jumping out of my ribs and my skin was jittering away from me. I was so afraid.

Derek was with me again when my car took some life and chip some paint off a
bumper. My mother has decided that he's my bad luck charm. He just
might be. He just might be. It's okay, if I can insult him with a
compliment, it's all good.


No more driving for me though. Not until it's legit. Now my mom has no choice but to let me take my road test.

[Cue a crack of lightning and roar of thunder]
Now I will laugh maniacally.


I played the "I'm so bored and lonely at home, what do you expect me to
do?" card. I threw in some tears (real ones) and my mom felt bad.
Perhaps she didn't yell at me in Spanish because the same thing happened to her a few months ago.

My mom and I are not bad drivers, we just drive huge vehicles.


I guess I learned another lesson. I stick it to the man again, and I cause some serious damage, but at least I got a cool portable ping pong table out of it!